Ask Zoe: Personal Advice for Progressive Relationships

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 06/08/2009 - 8:41pm.

Ask Zoé

"ASK ZOE" BUZZFLASH ADVICE COLUMN

BuzzFlash published its first "Ask Zoe" column a while back. We've been looking to fullfill a need that many of our readers write privately about: BuzzFlash advice when it comes to politics and values complicating personal relationships.

So we talked among our staff for a bit and decided to resurrect a more political/social change verision of the old newspaper personal advice column. Of course, that means our readers are welcome to chime in (using the comments section) with their own thoughts. Because in the end, only the person seeking advice can decide what is best for him or her.

From time to time, we will also respond to more directly political questions.

But since -- due to other news and commentary demands -- we haven't offered an "Ask Zoe" column, we are going to provide an example of a possible question (made up from a couple of composite e-mails to us.)

Then we would like you to send your questions on politics and personal relationships (that includes relatives, lovers, and friends) to: buzzflashadvice@gmail.com . We will keep all names confidential for both privacy and legal reasons, but respond to the contents of the e-mail.

"Ask Zoe" will be published from time to time, but we are counting on you to send your personal questions to buzzflashadvice@gmail.com.

Here's today's question which we've compiled:

Dear Zoe at BuzzFlash:

I am a big progressive, although most of my extended family believes that Armageddon is around the corner and liberals are evil.

I have a niece I e-mail a lot because she is curious about things and even though her dad, my brother, is a Rush Limbaugh fan, I try and teach her about accepting other people in a democracy.

Well, my brother was looking through her computer and found my e-mails and now has forbidden my niece, who is just 14, from communicating with me because he says that I am infecting her with bad ideas.

I love my niece, but if I try to communicate with her, she will probably get into trouble with my Dittohead brother.

What should I do?

Agonizing in St. Louis

Dear Agonizing in St. Louis:

It's quite common for family and personal feuds to develop over politics. That's why we developed this column on BuzzFlash.

As in most cases, you are between a rock and hard place. If you continue to exchange "progressive" e-mails with your niece, you may further jeopardize her relationship with her father. Perhaps, if you are not too estranged from your brother, you can come to an agreement with him that you won't discuss politics any further with your niece but remain a loving aunt. Perhaps in the example of your life and tolerance and commitment to a society based on equality you will serve as a role model to her, which might have more impact that all the e-mails that you could write.

Such decisions are hard, but family is the ultimate of our social communities, and lessons forged in love can often have more impact than those derived from conflict.

Sincerely,

Zoe for BuzzFlash

If you have a question for Zoe at BuzzFlash, please e-mail us asap at buzzflashadvice@gmail.com. Again, we will keep your identity confidential if your question is published in the BuzzFlash "Ask Zoe" column.

"ASK ZOE" BUZZFLASH ADVICE COLUMN

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I think you are right. As in most cases, you are between a rock and hard place. If you continue to exchange "progressive" e-mails with your niece, you may further jeopardize her relationship with her father. Perhaps, if you are not too estranged from your brother, you can come to an agreement with him that you won't discuss politics any further with your niece but remain a loving aunt. Perhaps in the example of your life and tolerance and commitment to a society based on equality you will serve as a role model to her, which might have more impact that all the e-mails that you could write.

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Submitted by quousque on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 8:37am.

Have the niece set up another email address at Yahoo or such that her father does not know about, and keep up the conversation in private.

Heck, if Dad's way of thinking was valid, then why would he need to worry about her being infected?

Letting bullies have their way is the absolute worst way to deal with them, as we all wish the Democratic Party knew by now!

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Submitted by TexBettsy on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 11:06am.

As a parent, I know that 14 is a difficult age, but I think you should respect the father for now. I disagree with asking a teen to start keeping email addresses and relationships away from the parents. Better to let the girl know that you're available to chat and let her initiate contact.

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Advice on our advice is welcome. We don't have all the answers, just advice.

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