First Progressive Personal/Social Relationship Column from BuzzFlash: "Ask Zoe"

 "ASK ZOE" BUZZFLASH ADVICE COLUMN

BuzzFlash is pleased to announce its first "Ask Zoe" column, answering readers' questions about challenges that they face in social relationships because of their progressive values.

Send your questions to buzzflashadvice@gmail.com.

We will be posting "Ask Zoe" from time to time.

A Cruel Cousin

I have a cousin who is a smug "born again" dittohead. His 94 year-old

grandmother is my aunt, and my sisters and I have been taking care of her

and seeing to her needs for years now. Her health has been deteriorating

lately, and he has taken to calling her and writing to her, asking her

whether she has a personal relationship with Jesus. He tells her if she

hasn't accepted Jesus in her life she will go to hell, upsetting her

terribly and making her cry. I have fought with him over this, to no

avail. How do I make him stop?

Thanks,

L. from NY

Dear L.:

I think the first thing you’d want to do is ask your aunt how she feels about her grandson’s expressions of his religious beliefs. If she tells you that she finds them upsetting and wants him to stop, then the ideal would be for your aunt to directly speak or write to her grandson and ask him to stop, assuming she is physically and mentally able to do so.

If that is not possible, you could talk to your aunt with your sisters and come up with a plan that will greatly limit your cousin’s communication with his grandmother if he does not stop imposing his own religious views on her. What is key is that the decision and plan come from your aunt -- your cousin’s grandmother -- unless she is not mentally able to do so, so that your cousin does not think that you are imposing your religious views on his grandmother. I’d also encourage your cousin to pray for his grandmother since that will be meaningful to him and perhaps reduce his unsolicited and hurtful lectures on damnation.

If your aunt is in contact or comfortable with a religious figure, that person might end up being your best ally. If that is the case, ask him or her to talk to your aunt and then with your cousin. This person could be a more effective intermediary than someone whom your cousin already assumes will be hostile. She or he will probably be able to better describe your aunt's religious beliefs and the need to be respectful of them. Furthermore, most religious figures are good at dealing with the complex relationship issues that arise when confronting mortality.

Yours Truly,

Zoe at BuzzFlash

***

Although BuzzFlash reader Robert wrote us a question that doesn’t deal with a progressive social/personal relationship, we thought we might answer it anyway since it is on the mind of many of our readers:

Contacting President Obama

How or who do I contact to get a message to President Obama telling him that he is going in the wrong direction for a Progressive Democrat? He seems to be hurting the blue collar workers more than the white collar people.

Robert

Dear Robert,

The most effective way to get your opinion registered in the White House is not an e-mail (most constituent e-mail to the White House or Capitol Hill is not considered high priority because of the high volume, particularly in light of organized e-mail campaigns), but rather a letter or phone call. We might add that members of Congress and the White House have phone calls and letters tabulated (but not e-mails or petitions in general, with rare exceptions) in terms of responses to specific issues. (If you want to e-mail the White House, though, use their templated form at http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact/.)

We should also note that the White House recently disclosed that President Obama has started the practice of personally reading 10 letters a week selected for him from the White House mail room.

Another way to send a message to President Obama or elected officials is through a letter to the editor of your local newspaper. Most congressional representatives have a staff member who reads over letters to the editor and reports back on reader opinion trends, as we presume the White House does for major papers.

President Obama has also held a press conference where he answered questions received over the Internet from Americans. You can find White House contact information at http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact/.

There are more ideas you can use, but these actions will give you something to start with.

Keep agitating,

Zoe of BuzzFlash

***

About BuzzFlash’s "Ask Zoe":

BuzzFlash is launching a new advice column, "Ask Zoe," to answer readers' questions about challenges they face in social relationships because of their progressive values. Send your questions to buzzflashadvice@gmail.com.

For example, here are some possible questions (we want them to be real and not fictional):

1. My fiancé is a loyal young Republican and I am a die-hard progressive. Somehow we still love each other. I want to bring him home to meet my parents over spring break, but my father loves to argue politics and is always mocking Republicans. I am afraid this visit could turn into a disaster. Any suggestions?
2. I try to buy ecological toiletries, bulbs, and anything that will help save the environment for our apartment, but my roommate objects saying that "green" products cost too much. Should I insist on buying "green" or give in to his economic situation?
3. My boss is always quoting Rush Limbaugh at work and talking about how Obama is a socialist. It ticks me off. Is there anything I can do about it?
4. Recently, I was being interviewed for a job. The HR guy asked me who I voted for in the last election. Under normal circumstances, I would share this information with almost anybody. But in this situation, it didn't seem right. Am I being paranoid?
5. I am in a committed relationship with another woman. She resents the amount of time I put into working as a volunteer at a domestic shelter for battered women. I sometimes stay overnight there to provide assistance and reassurance to the women who come in there. How do I get my partner to understand that I love her, but I love helping others also and convince her to accept that part of me?

These are just examples, but we want real dilemmas and questions, not creative fiction.

Please send your questions to buzzflashadvice@gmail.com. We will not post your first or last name or other identifying information, only the question that you send.

Unfortunately, we cannot answer every question sent, but will choose a sampling to address in the new BuzzFlash "Ask Zoe" advice column.

The questions will be answered by members of the BuzzFlash staff.

buzzflashadvice@gmail.com

"ASK ZOE" BUZZFLASH ADVICE COLUMN

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