The Fallen Four are all set in BuzzFlash's Republican Race to the Bottom

We are down to the Fallen Four in our BuzzFlash Republican Race to the Bottom. We had a feeling this week's contests, motivated by the honor of reaching this echelon, would be sufficiently intense as to keep you on the edge, wanting more.

The highlight of the week clearly was Wednesday, when George "The Decider" Bush had his fate decided by you, the voters, and ousted in a climatic juggernaut by the Supreme Court Federalist Foursome 53%-47%.

This letter in the BuzzFlash mailbag captured the raw emotion expended in consuming this battle:

I am sitting here at 1:15 AM, in complete shock by the results of tonight's game. It now appears that the #2 seeded Decider has been defeated in his attempt to reach the Fallen Four. I sincerely believed that he would have no trouble defeating the #5 seeded Federalist Four.

Oh sure, the whole world knows how they overturned the will of the voters and appointed him to the throne, but that was only one crime. Just look at all of the corruption, incompetence, deception, and illegal unconstitutional acts that he was responsible for in the eight gloomy years that followed. I was so confident that he would make it to the Fallen Four. There must be some way that we can electronically get these vote totals switched.

Let's see, what did I do with that phone number for Diebold...... or whatever they're calling themselves now???

The other Fallen Four winners had an easier time. Despite Alberto Gonzales looking even more foolish than normal, he was no match for the evil stare of #1 seed Karl Rove. In Monday's contest, Rove slammed Gonzales with 88% of the vote.

The other #1 seed, Dick Cheney, also scored 88% in his second-round match, though on paper, Bill O'Reilly's loud presence on the court was thought to be more worrisome against the out-of-shape Cheney. But when you're Darth Vader in somewhat-living form, you don't have to rely on your outside shot.

In a battle of clueless, egomaniacal pundits, Ann Coulter's "all over the place" skills were no match for the heat brought by Rush Limbaugh, mostly because he breathes really hard and has a lot of hot air. In Thursday's contest, Limbaugh easily handled Coulter with 79% of the vote. For someone who doesn't normally do well with women, Limbaugh defeated Sarah Palin and Coulter to reach the Fallen Four.

As we saw in the last round, plenty of truly evil Republicans went by the wayside. Those that have clawed, lied, threatened, and intimidated their way to the Fallen Four deserve respect, but they would prefer your fear.

Secretly, we were curious to see how a battle between Bush and Bush's brain would end up, but we have the next best thing: Bush's brain (Rove) vs. the essential spirit and some of the flesh that crowned Bush, starting Rove's national road trip of evil.

The other Fallen Four battle royale involves two legendary heavyweights: Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh. One considers himself the leader of the Republican Party, and the other secretly is.

Momentum and evil are on the side of Cheney in this grudge match, but there is a small issue of what Cheney recently said about Limbaugh:

"Rush is a good friend. I love him. I think he does great work and has for years ... I think Rush is a good man and serves a very important purpose."

Last summer, Cheney sent Limbaugh a recorded message calling him "one of the great names in broadcasting history."

Uh, that isn't exactly trash talking. But knowing Cheney, he's just buttering up Limbaugh (which takes a lot of butter, seriously) in order to take him down.

Due to the extreme nature of these major contests, we will launch both games on Monday, April 6 (same day as the championship of some other tournament). You, and your many, many friends, will have TWO DAYS to make your votes known. The fate of who is the most evil may come down to these two brawls; we want to make sure everyone who wants to vote has their chance.

The beaten, bloodied winners of these contests go head-to-head Wednesday, April 8, so we may crown the champion in our Republican Race to the Bottom.  

Click here for last week's roundup and here for our analysis of Week One.