Mark Sanford is BuzzFlash's GOP Hypocrite This Week for Trumpeting 'God's Laws' After Lying & Cheating Across the Hemisphere

Mark Sanford

Welcome back to the BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week.

When South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford disappeared into what we were told were the Appalachian Mountains last week, we assumed the "embarrassing story" that might come of it was perhaps an ill-advised Father's Day participation in Naked Hiking Day, or a harmless week-long bender after a tough legislative session.

Boy, were we wrong.

Instead, we were shocked to watch Sanford apologizing profusely for an as-yet unknown transgression after he returned Wednesday.

"What I have found in this job is that one desperately needs a break from the bubble -- wherein every word, every moment is recorded -- just to completely break and I've found that to be true in trips to the farm or trips other places further afield," Sanford said.

And when he said "further afield," he meant South America.

Sanford's bizarre press conference was held to allow the governor to publicly admit that he had a year-long affair with a "dear, dear friend" in Argentina. His statement was sprinkled with mentions of religious terminology. Sanford spoke of morals, sins, faith and his own violation of "God's law" repeatedly. It was unclear whether or not he realized this, but it so happens that some of God's laws are also the law of the land in South Carolina, where adultery is punishable by a fine and possible imprisonment.

He specifically apologized to "people of faith," still maintaining his holier-than-thou position (agnostics and atheists apparently don't believe in having committed, monogamous relationships) and continuing the popular Republican narrative of religious redemption.

And that calls to mind this point: You know who else Sanford is apparently better than in the committed relationship category? Gay people. Yep, turns out his lying, cheating heart is more capable of honoring marriage and raising children than anyone in the LGBT category.

Sanford and his hypocritical pal Ensign both had called for then-President Bill Clinton to resign after it was revealed that Clinton had had an affair with Monica Lewinsky. To be fair, Sanford is somewhat of an equal opportunity hypocrite, having been very critical of House Speaker-designate Bob Livingston (R-LA) when his unfaithfulness was revealed.

Not only is Sanford in trouble with "God's laws" for violating his sacred marriage vows, but for as he called it in his press conference, "creating a fiction" about what country he happened to be cavorting in last week. Well, governor -- not to put too fine of a point on it -- here in Reality Land, we call that lying. He lied to his family, his staff, the media and the people of his state, leaving South Carolina without anyone at the wheel for nearly a week.

Oh, and add to that list the possible misappropriation of taxpayer dollars. Not only was the trip during which this whole affair began a year ago a matter of (paid) official state business, but as the details of this most recent mysterious trip begin to fall into place, it's certainly possible that taxpayer dollars (in the form of a law enforcement vehicle and perhaps other expenses) may have been spent on the illicit rendezvous.

And this comes from the guy who wanted to reject all of the federal stimulus money coming to South Carolina this year. Well, he clearly had enough money in his pocket to go on vacation abroad, which is more than many in this country can say this year. In a strange convergence, Sanford apparently repeatedly referenced Argentinian history in his statements against the stimulus.

For trumpeting his family values and religiosity at the same time as he admits to breaking vows, promises and South Carolina law, we honor Mark Sanford with the BuzzFlash GOP Hypocrite of the Week Award.

Remember our motto: So many Republican hypocrites, so little time.

Catch up with you soon.

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This is Mark Sanford's first GOP Hypocrite award (though, interestingly enough, John Ensign won it just last week for doing almost the same thing). Welcome to the club. You can see a list of all previous nominees here.