Hey Dems - Where's Your CPAC Conference? We Need That Energy.

BUZZFLASH COMMENTARY

By Dee Evans

Hey Dems…would you wake up already? 

I’m really getting tired of seeing you looking like the slower, weaker version of the Tri-Lambs from Revenge of the Nerds.
 
Now, I’m no scholar, so someone is going to have to help me with the longer history of why the Republicans have always been seen as the ‘stronger’ party and the Democrats have always been seen as the ‘weaker’.
 
But I must say that right now, I’m seeing it pretty well.  All I see on the news (other than Tiger Woods that is) is the Republican CPAC event.  My big question is: where is the Democratic Party version of the CPAC Conference?  Where is the LPAC (Liberal Political Action Conference) or PPAC (Progressive Political Action Conference -- or even DPAC Democratic Political Action Conference)?
 
The activities area alone would be legendary.  I know more than a few people who would love to dance to some grooves on the face of Beck or Coulter or Limbaugh--ala the “Stomp Out The Conservative Media Booth."  Or, wouldn’t you love to go a few rounds with the Dick Cheney heavy bag or go on a moose hunt for Bullwinkle Palin?  You could fund the Democratic Party for 6 months on the money you’d make from the ‘Palin 2012’ buttons alone.
 
What are my thoughts on the Democratic Party's big problem for 2010?  They are trying to get their supporters happy when the Republicans have proven that the new way forward, for this year anyway, is getting your supporters angry.  Democrats need to get their supporters mad--about anything other than them!
 
Now, this is not very hard to do, for example:
 
African-Americans:  Now, do we really need to have this discussion?  Your best friends are hardly in the Republican Party.  The Mount Vernon Statement just put out by Conservatives is just the beginning.  If Republicans take over Congress, the next statement they put out will be regarding the new ‘David Duke Initiative’ to stop discrimination against wayward racists and instead help them get better jobs…in Congress!
 
Hispanics:  You might as well pack up now because if Republicans take over Congress, you’re about to scram on the next plane!
 
Gays and Lesbians:  The right to marry or serve in the military will be the least of your problems.  You can forget about all of that right now.  Should Republicans take over Congress, you might have to worry about the simple right to exist.  Now, I know you’re not very happy with the pace of Democrats on much of your agenda but, last I checked, a snail is still faster than a rock!
 
College Students:  Got cash?  Because if Republicans take over Congress, there will be no more legislation towards college tuition and student loan assistance.  Instead, unless you’re a distant member of the Rockefellers, your next move will be towards a good trade school…or a good loan shark.
 
Seniors:  Like your Medicare and Social Security? Oh well, tough prune juice because Republicans are now saying that these programs should be cut to help balance the budget. (see Republican numbers guru Paul Ryan)  So your new and exciting choices will be, hit the lottery or don’t get sick…NOTE: both options have been known to be equally realistic.
 
Other minorities (i.e. Asians, Indians, Muslims, etc.):  I don’t even think Republicans know you’re here.  (Except for Muslims; they know you’re here and they have quite a welcome mat in store for you!)
 
Aren’t there people who get paid for this?  Get off your butts Democrats and fight back!  Republicans are lapping you on the kiddie course!  Democrats should be old hats at this, after all, it was anger over the Bush Administration that swept many of them into office…including our new President.
 
Now, I’m not officially affiliated with either party.  I believe that both parties have some good ideas and some bad ideas, but I’m a true believer in the spirit of competition and it’s just more interesting to watch Rocky fight Apollo Creed than Steve Urkel.

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