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Rain Woman Palin -- I Bet She Knows that Waitress' Phone Number

THE FIFTH COLUMNIST by P.M. Carpenter

Hi there, me here, and it was almost worse than expected there, doggone it. You betcha. (I'm just asking, I really don't know: Is it a common Alaskan colloquial habit to randomly add "here" and "there" -- also "also" -- to sentences?)

We're only a bit over 30 days into the governor's unexpected prance onto the national political stage, and already we're treated to the new, new Palin. Somewhere, Richard Nixon is turning admiringly.

Actually, make that the new, new, new Palin.

The first model was the programmed automaton of artificial intelligence, propped behind a podium. The second was the real thing, which quickly obviated her marketing department's further demonstrations. The third model -- October's model -- is a reprise of the first, which, although it now operates without a teleprompter, still requires batteries.

In other words, all we learned last night was that Sarah Palin is capable of memorizing note cards. OK. She can memorize note cards. I'll grant that. But just as one of Dustin Hoffman's film characters could memorize the New York City phone directory, he couldn't have begun to explain what the directory was actually for, or what the purpose of a phone number is.

It was, repeatedly, that critical second stage of questioning we were denied last night. And for that, credit goes to the McCain camp's debate negotiators. The affair was, in a sense, rigged, permitting Ms. Palin to reel off, every two minutes, another 90 seconds of saccharine, platitudinous pleonasm, and then mentally move on to filing through other note cards.

A typical example: "Let's commit ourselves -- just everyday American people, Joe Six-Pack, hockey moms across the nation -- I think we need to band together and say, 'Never again.' Never will we be exploited and taken advantage of again by those who are managing our money and loaning us these dollars. We need to make sure that we demand from the federal government strict oversight of those entities in charge of our investments and our savings and we need also to not get ourselves in debt."

That, right then, was the logical time for Joe Biden to pause and ask: Just who are "those"? In what specific ways were "they" mismanaging our money? Hey, you brought it up, I'm just asking. What, for example, was leverage's role? Doesn't "debt" fuel this market economy? Wouldn't, let's say, Detroit completely fold without it? What are your thoughts on mortgage-backed securitizations? What was their role, which your boss more than once said was a good and helpful thing for our economy? How did that role evolve? Was it a mindful repudiation of New Deal regulation? -- that is, of the New Deal spirit of regulation, which has had to overcome conservatism's egregious forays into our lives, again and again? Why, oh why, Ms. Palin, did "those" conservatives in the federal government -- your conservatives -- do that to us? Why can't you people ever learn? And why is it we have to pay for your mistakes? Again and again?

Take your time. We'll wait.

But, as we learned, sadly, there was no time allotted for such follow-ups. Joe Biden, of course, could have fielded like questions, sans note cards. He could casually do it while showering, and probably does. Sarah Palin, on the other hand, would have frozen -- like a moose in the headlights, like Katie Couric's facial reactions to Sarah's stumblings, like today's credit markets.

To me, the most revealing and therefore tawdriest moment came within Palin's first few minutes, in which she proudly announced that she was not, in fact, going to answer any questions. "And I may not answer the questions the way that either the moderator or you want to hear, but I'm going to talk straight to the American people and let them know my track record also." Translation: You're in for 90-second speeches often wholly unrelated to any matter before us. But hey, they're all I've got.

Their Pavlovian nature was, however, entertaining. I'll give them that much. Did she hear "Iran"? Ding-ding-ding. She's got an answer for ya, you betcha. Climate change? Ding-ding-ding. She's got another. Health care? Ding-ding-ding.

I don't know that I had ever witnessed such a mechanical hemorrhaging of conditioned behavior. I realize that these "debaters" must commit to memory and then hustle their talking points, but generally there's some independent knowledge behind that talk and beneath those points.

In short, they usually understand what they're saying, and, if pressed, can drill, baby, drill at least a little deeper. Palin's performance belied that capability -- and her forewarning about not answering questions only served to spotlight the shallowness.

She also served notice that we'd hear no more of a Sarah Palin unscripted: "I like being able to answer these tough questions without the filter, even, of the mainstream media kind of telling viewers what they've just heard. I'd rather be able to just speak to the American people like we just did."

But just prior to that came eight little words that were, perhaps, regretfully unscripted -- and possibly haunting: "And I would like more opportunity for this."

Bingo. There's Sen Biden's post-debate mantra to dominate the 24-hour post-debate media cycle. Let's have another. Let's sit down, throw away the notes and take off the gloves and go at it again. Gov. Palin herself suggested another "opportunity" for just that. So let's do it.

And then watch the backpedaling.

Please respond to P.M.'s commentary by leaving comments below and sharing them with the BuzzFlash community. For personal questions or comments you can contact him at fifthcolumnistmail@gmail.com

THE FIFTH COLUMNIST by P.M. Carpenter




Sarah Palin capable of memorizing ...

"...all we learned last night was that Sarah Palin is capable of memorizing note cards. OK. She can memorize note cards. I'll grant that. But just as one of Dustin Hoffman's film characters could memorize the New York City phone directory, he couldn't have begun to explain what the directory was actually for, or what the purpose of a phone number is." Love your analogy to Dustin Hoffman's character in a film. I thought Sarah Palin was not only reading note cards she had somewhat memorized, but was wired to an outsize source who prompted her what to say. (Or told her which card contained the answer.) She sounded like a robot... or like someone on speed...answering questions that were not asked. Talking so fast as if afraid that by slowing down she would lose her thread. What she said made no sense... but it was fast. In vino veritas.

X pat grumbles

As that great Scots poet Robbie Burns said, "O a God the gifte ge us ta see oursels as others see us." Sheeeesh America, take a look at yourself for God sakes, and for the sake of the rest of the world. McCain Palin are objects of ridicule in Europe. Davy Jones

Sara

Did she actually answer any question? Seems like all she did was avoid the questions and read a note pad on one agenda, this beauty queen needs to go back to the cold north and stay there. But from what I gather from her last trip home, prople there are not all that happy with her either. She's another puppet of the current administration, she spent numorous days hding before the debate, probably reading and memorizing all on that note pad of hers. Her statement of not going to answer the questions put forth, should have made the debate end right then, she's a coward, and she doesn't realize, if (God Forbid) she ever became VP she won't be able to go hide in the frozen north to keep from answering questions. (Oh wait a minute, guess she could, I can think of quite a few neo's that have gone into hiding in the past. She's a air-head and my 11 year old could answer the questions better than she did.

"Spin"

The Main Street Media & Obama supporters have been trying to "spin" this Debate as a tie or a loss for Gov. Palin. It seems you think that bias spin & nasty comments are going to change peoples mind.
What you don't seem to realize is that people have their own eyes & ears & common sense.

After all the "Nasty Rhetoric & bias edited interview clips," by the Media, she came out "standing tall" last night. As she said last night she is not a Washington insider & that's refreshing to many, many mainstreet voters. Many of us are tired of the "Polictic BS talk" that seems to be a qualification requirement of the Senate & House members.

While I like Joe Biden & always have, he has a tendency to strech the truth. Here's a list of his "whoppers" last night at the Debate.
Because of the large number of them, it had to be over half of what he said last night. Because he's, well, Joe Biden, he gets a pass on this stuff? You guys can look the other way, I'm not.

Joe Biden's 14 Whoppers!

1. TAX VOTE: Biden said McCain voted “the exact same way” as Obama to increase taxes on Americans earning just $42,000, but McCain DID NOT VOTE THAT WAY.

2. AHMEDINIJAD MEETING: Joe Biden lied when he said that Barack Obama never said that he would sit down unconditionally with Mahmoud Ahmedinijad of Iran. Barack Obama did say specifically, and Joe Biden attacked him for it.

3. OFFSHORE OIL DRILLING: Biden said, “Drill we must.” But Biden has opposed offshore drilling and even compared offshore drilling to “raping” the Outer Continental Shelf.”

4. TROOP FUNDING: Joe Biden lied when he indicated that John McCain and Barack Obama voted the same way against funding the troops in the field. John McCain opposed a bill that included a timeline, that the President of the United States had already said he would veto regardless of it’s passage.

5. OPPOSING CLEAN COAL: Biden says he’s always been for clean coal, but he just told a voter that he is against clean coal and any new coal plants in America and has a record of voting against clean coal and coal in the U.S. Senate.

6. ALERNATIVE ENERGY VOTES: According to FactCheck.org, Biden is exaggerating and overstating John McCain’s record voting for alternative energy when he says he voted against it 23 times.

7. HEALTH INSURANCE: Biden falsely said McCain will raise taxes on people's health insurance coverage -- they get a tax credit to offset any tax hike. Independent fact checkers have confirmed this attack is false

8. OIL TAXES: Biden falsely said Palin supported a windfall profits tax in Alaska -- she reformed the state tax and revenue system, it's not a windfall profits tax.

9. AFGHANISTAN / GEN. MCKIERNAN COMMENTS: Biden said that top military commander in Iraq said the principles of the surge could not be applied to Afghanistan, but the commander of NATO's International Security Assistance Force Gen. David D. McKiernan said that there were principles of the surge strategy, including working with tribes, that could be applied in Afghanistan.

10. REGULATION: Biden falsely said McCain weakened regulation -- he actually called for more regulation on Fannie and Freddie.

11. IRAQ: When Joe Biden lied when he said that John McCain was “dead wrong on Iraq”, because Joe Biden shared the same vote to authorize the war and differed on the surge strategy where they John McCain has been proven right.

12. TAX INCREASES: Biden said Americans earning less than $250,000 wouldn’t see higher taxes, but the Obama-Biden tax plan would raise taxes on individuals making $200,000 or more.

13. BAILOUT: Biden said the economic rescue legislation matches the four principles that Obama laid out, but in reality it doesn’t meet two of the four principles that Obama outlined on Sept. 19, which were that it include an emergency economic stimulus package, and that it be part of “part of a globally coordinated effort with our partners in the G-20.”

14. REAGAN TAX RATES: Biden is wrong in saying that under Obama, Americans won't pay any more in taxes then they did under Reagan.

Sorry, I'm not going to play...

For years now thanks to the Bush Administration and the Republican Party, I've been sending out email to a small list of people I know in an attempt to provide information and verifiable facts related to the sad political condition in this once great country. Not all of the people on this list are of a Progressive mindset, some are actually rather stanch Conservatives. I've often received rebuttals similar to the one offered here, and since I have pride in my efforts and respect for the truth I've engaged in the process of rebutting their "facts". Many times I've spent hours researching long lists such as this one, disassembling the misstatements they often contain. Though I've learned a lot during these exercises, the one fact that is undeniable is this...

IT NEVER MAKES A DIFFERENCE, IT NEVER CHANGES ANYONE'S MIND.

So forgive me if I don't play the "fact" game. I've come to realize that there is actually no point because it very rarely makes a difference if ever. Once someone's mind is made up on an issue, candidate, or political party, it's pointless to try and effect a change in those beliefs. It just doesn't happen. People will believe what they want to believe, despite any and all attempts to prove via verifiable fact that their beliefs are misplaced. There are psychological studies that have identified why this disconnect exists, and if you're looking for some interesting bathroom or insomnia relieving reading I'd suggest you check them out. But for me I've come to realize it's an effort in futility to play the "fact game".

I've surrendered myself to this reality but it's not because I've given up on the pursuit of truth, it's because it always turns into a pointless "urination contest". I still view all the "facts" I'm presented as being questionable until I verify them for myself. The reality is every politician spins the truth, all candidates and their respective campaigns offer reality colored through their own filters. Still and all I will say that when I review my 'scorecard' over the duration of this current campaign the Palin/McCain campaign wins the "Spin Award" hands down. Now that's not to say that the Obama/Biden campaign hasn't had their share, they've also engaged in spinning the truth as well. But when it comes to a tally, the Palin/McCain campaign has far out shown the Obama/Biden campaign in their ability to bend the truth and twist reality to their liking.

For me it boils down to the sad state the majority of Americans find themselves in right now. Would Obama be a "better" president than McCain? The truth for me at least is "I don't know.", and none of us will know until after we see the result if he wins the election. What I do know is the situation in America is in the crapper right now, and this is after 8 years of the Bush Administration, and 6 years of a Republican controlled House and Senate. That one undeniable fact is enough for me to have decided it's time for some sort of dramatic change. Short of a revolution the only way that some sort of change can occur is to vote for the alternative, and hope that things will get better in the future.

"But things in this life change very slowly if they ever change at all."

Peace...

spin?

Do you have ANY references to back up what you say or are you going to expect everyone to just take you at your word? Didn't think so. Just like Palin. Lie without commitment. Please, feel free to provide some backup for your accusations otherwise everyone will simply disregard them as they should this idiot Palin. Only 2 kinds of rethuglitard. Rich ones and stupid ones.

Thomasm says

Joe Biden lied 14 times during last night's event. It simply isn't true.

C'mon

So because you say something isn't true, it's true? Who am I supposed to believe here. Joe Biden or some internet troll?

Thomas M

To all the 3 above posters. You have a computer, look the facts up yourself! If you just want to spout off & believe Biden that's your choice. I've done my homework. Some one else has come up with a list of 23 misspeaks by Biden. Seems like you don't even know what you're listening to when Biden speaks.

Thomas M--------

In all fairness to the three posters you chided, they MIGHT not have responded to the credibity (or lack thereof), of your post had YOU been equally fair in your reporting and cited SOME examples of Palins mis-statements........

Oh, thats right.....she didn't make any.....BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!

Silly me!

Also,(hows that?)just curious.....are you a Democrat? If so, couldn't you do us all a favor (on a progressive site) by devoting some of that supposed investigative prowess of yours.......on PROVING the obvious foibles of the Repugs???? In sheer weight, gravity and destruction-----their lies FAR exceed the evils you cite here.

You seem to take some warped sense of pride in exposing (in the name of fairness)the dirty laundry of the Dems----say it ain't so, Joe------

The Repugs lies and mis-statements ARE out there....you know?

Bring it on, Sarah!

How about you and Joe Biden go on Larry King Live "for the hour". Or maybe do a few town halls together and put them on C-Span? We want to see more of you, Sarah!

Colloquial Habits

The here and there sound like all dose ppl in Muhwaakee, der, hey. Howd dat accent get all da way up to Alaska? (insert your own long flat A as appropriate). But the also I think must be an Alaska thing, also. Also, someone counted her saying it 48 times. I wished I had been playing a drinking game also. Gosh darnit. Oh and also, dere was dat beauty queen from somewhere who also'd alot - anyone have that transcript? It's frightening.

I don't like Sarah ya'betcha ahcteb'ay haraS ekil t'nod I --->

enough with the PALIN-DRONE... you can put lipstick on a pig, but you cannot make a silk purse out of a sows ear/// you can put lipstick on a pig, but she will only be a bore/// you can put lipstick on a pig, but you can't teach them to sing///// winky winky sarah... just between us girls... how was First Dude's partner in bed? A second coming? i'betcha

Sara Palin agreed to debate

Sara Palin agreed to debate rules prior to last night's debacle. The agreement was that the moderator would ask questions and she would answer them. When she stated her refusal to do that, and then began delivering stump speech talking points, the moderator should have gaveled her down. Her failure to do that leads me to conclude that this whole so-called debate was nothing but a cynically disguised platform for Sara Palin to polish her image.

Obama/Biden made a mistake

The Obama/Biden campaign should never have agreed to the format. If the debate had the same rules at the presidential debates, Palin might have had to answer the questions or looked like the inexperienced woman she is. Reciting 'talking points' is not an acceptable alternative to debating the issues.

Sara Palin agreed to debate

Sara Palin agreed to debate rules prior to last night's debacle. The agreement was that the moderator would ask questions and she would answer them. When she stated her refusal to do that, and then began delivering stump speech talking points, the moderator should have gaveled her down. Her failure to do that leads me to conclude that this whole so-called debate was nothing but a cynically disguised platform for Sara Palin to polish her image.

Low Expectations

The headlines all read that she exceeded expectations. Yes, she did. Only because expectations were that she'd puke on herself, pass out or go to blue screen mode. I think Bush said it: 'the soft bigotry of low expectations'. Well, America you've now set your expectations about as low as you possibly can. Now all that's left is to ask what the hell happened to us.

Palin's Delivery

As I was watching the "debate" last night, I was suddenly struck by the idea that something was very familiar. Then it came to me. Palin's media experience was gaining her a visual advantage.

Looking into the camera (as she was trained when she reported sports) "connects" her to the viewers, and her visage and confident dispensing of vapid verbiage makes her appear to know what she's talking about. Few will read the debate transcript to verify that she still doesn't know much, but they will report that she did because their lyin' eyes told them so.

Another famous Republican did this - Ronald Reagan. His delivery covered a multitude of linguistic shortcomings, and so does Palin's. Still, some 40% of the people are of the opinion that her empty positions are worthy of support. It would serve them right if McCain-Palin won.

Lots of water, no substance.

As I've listened to Palin blathering her head off while "answering" questions - I realized that after we put those answers through a dehydrator and evaporate all the unnecessary words, there will be very little left to listen to, if anything at all.

Palin can take a one word answer, for example "yes", and she can water it down with a 55 gallons of confusing saliva. She will totally omit the "yes" in the process. The saliva will be flowing freely for 5 minutes. Finally she will be out of breath "answering" - but there still will be NO answer to a simple question. Only lots of water.

If American sheeple think that if they don't understand someone, that someone must be smart; then if they vote for McPalin ticket, they receive all that they richly deserve.

Can we please vote for someone else and secede?

A Nation of Sheep......

Malgoska you wrote:

"If American sheeple think that if they don't understand someone, that someone must be smart........"

You don't realize how true these words are. After last nights "gee-lets-see-how-much-I-remember-from-my-cliff-notes" regurgitation of jingoistic drivel; and her immediate declaration of refusing to answer questions by the "debate" moderator....That clinched it for me, I decided, then and there, to go vote early.

In Georgia, we're able to do this. But I noticed, in the voters booth next to me (God forgive me), this klutz standing in it...seeing several boxes with the Republican candidate box and the other signifying "write in" candidate.....simply went straight down the line voting "Repug" after fiddling with the type for write in, and still seeing no other name, sighed, and touched away. It was absolutely clear to me that this "voter" didn't know enough about his responsibility to have bothered studying who else might be on the ticket.

It ocurred to me then that here in "red state" Georgia THIS is how we wind up with ass-holes like Saxby Chambliss. To be a progressive Democrat living in Georgia is akin to being a child trapped in a family of narcissistic, alcoholic, dysfunctional parents who are driving the car over a cliff.

You also wrote:
"then if they vote for McPalin ticket, they receive all that they richly deserve....."

Indeed........but do the rest of us deserve this?

The spin is disgusting

Mechanical hemorrhaging of conditioned behavior. Well put. That's all it was. She didn't answer questions! The worst part is the spin and the pundits saying that she performed well! Give me a break! I'm scared to get too hopeful and say we got this thing(the election). But it certainly looks that way. What do you want to bet there's gonna be some terror coming our way before Nov!

mooselini

The overall impression I took from the "debate?" It was more like a debacle (if you accept the general definition of the term "debate"); apparently, the premptive strike against Gwen Ifill by the McSame campaign was effective; not once did she interrupt Palin's programmed diversions with, "I'm sorry, Governor; with all due respect, please repond to the question and refrain from simply repeating your stump speech." My Colombian wife - still adjusting to US politics after 5 years here - jumped up, threw up her hands, saying "This isn't a debate! It's a joke! What's wrong with that lady (Ifill)? Why doesn't she do her job?," and went to bed. The whole process was disgusting to me.

Not a debate

I agree with you. This was not a debate. A debate allows two people who disagree about something to argue until one or the other wins the argument. If one wins most of the arguments, they win the debate. Ifil was obviously affected by the propaganda from the McCain campaign about her book and possible favoritism of Biden. Moderate, don't pander!