The GOP's New Love: Bi-Post-Non-Partisanship

Welcome to merely the latest and entirely predictable consequence of Republican rule: "[T]he price tag could easily be $500 billion," reports the New York Times about you-know-what. "Outside experts predicted that the bill could exceed $1 trillion."

Honest to God, one wonders how Republicans pols can muster the courage to even show their faces in public, let alone presently stand before the electorate and ask for another two, or four, or six years, depending on which office of public trust they wish to defile a bit longer.

Oh, and they are Republicans, by the way. But you wouldn't know that to hear them talk … and talk, and talk -- and in some cases actually blame that party without reference to their own irresponsible membership, as though they'd been living some sort of out-of-body, existential misunderstanding for the last few years.

No, they rarely mention that identity anymore. Hell, they didn't even mention it at the Republican National Convention. Suddenly they're post-partisan, or better yet, vaguely and somehow bipartisan or even non-partisan.

For years, the mere whisper of "Republican" by one of these selfsame clowns was supposed to set off in your head all kinds of associational bells announcing God, country, and adult supervision.

Now, just think the wretched word and instantly you conjure images of a diabolical presence, unprecedented treachery and infantile incompetence.

But wait. Is that right? Or did I just commit a huge error of rationality?

Bingo. Sure did.

Because according to a "new poll by the Pew Research Center for the People & the Press … independent voters have an equally favorable opinion of both parties, 50 to 49 percent, a one-point edge for the GOP. That compares to an 18-point Democratic advantage as recently as August, a wide gap that had generally held for more than a year.

"And half of registered voters overall now have a favorable opinion of the Republican Party, the highest GOP ranking in three years…. The findings come as the Gallup Poll recently found that the Democratic generic lead among voters, when asked which party they prefer to control Congress, has withered to only 3 points, 48 to 45 percent."

That's only the half of it. Get this: these same "voters continue to say the economy remains the number one issue."

Do we again invoke God and his mercy at this point? No, Jim Carrey's signature line -- Allll righty then! Since that would be the same economy that the party which these independent and registered voters now have a favorable opinion of has reduced -- ideologically and methodically and against mountains of informed and frantic advice -- to absolute rubble.

Yes, I know, much of that is merely a now-diminishing reflection of the so-called Palin Effect, the one in which a bunch of white men, especially, suffered concupiscent pangs of distraction and sprang to hormonally adolescent enthusiasm whenever a pollster called. (Some of this panting, no doubt, spilled over into Q&A calls concerning not just the GOP presidential ticket, but the GOP in general.)

As noted, that enthusiasm now appears to be softening and their little white heads are beginning to dangle in embarrassed shame. But still, I mean, come on; to be so easily lured in the midst of an unparalleled economic meltdown by an Alaskan beauty queen who doesn't know Freddie Mac from Fred Mertz was a lasting testament to the distressing absurdity of the American electorate at large.

As for how John McCain -- he's a Republican, by the way -- is reacting to this rather pricey economic implosion? Why of course, as you know, he's rising from his well-known populist roots, wanting to fire every powerful friend in sight and taking on all those Washington insiders and lobbyists, known, as Barack Obama has pointed out, as the McCain campaign staff.

I don't know how many hats McCain has in his closet -- as many as needed, I guess -- but we seem destined to see him wearing every one of them before Election Day.

Meanwhile, our sitting president of ambiguous party identity urges that "we must act now to protect our nation’s economic health from serious risk" -- a risk that sort of just, well, happened -- as he "appeared in the Rose Garden," reported the NYT, "and gravely appealed for bipartisanship."

You know, precisely what those reasonable Republicans have been insisting on all along. Or at least that's what they'll tell you, which is the only way they can muster the aforementioned courage to show their faces in public and stand before you to ask for another two, or four, or six years, depending on which office of public trust they wish to defile a bit longer.