Democracy as Daycare

How so easily distracted is the electorate.

Remember when virtually every American man, woman and schoolchild knew with transcendent certainty that this presidential election would be fought and won over all things economic, since we as a nation just happen to be staring into the economic abyss?

Remember that time? It wasn't that long ago, really, but it already seems like some real ancient history stuff. Because, once again, like quadrennial clockwork, the Republicans have yelled "Boo!"

Symbolically speaking, that is. "Let me be very clear: I am not questioning his patriotism. I am questioning his judgment."

With sound-bite perfection, that of course is what John McCain has been telling his audiences of late. No, no, nothing sinister, scurrilous or underhanded here at all; just one presidential candidate suggesting in every which way but the most nakedly blunt that his opponent hates America -- that his opponent prefers the "defeat" of American armed forces to victory, that his opponent "would rather lose a war than an election," that his opponent "doesn't think it matters whether America wins or loses."

And throughout the upcoming Republican National Convention you can be sure, as they bellow their recently chosen theme of "Country First" with brutal frequency, that nary a Republican soul on stage will question Barack Obama's patriotism.

All of which has reached a point that merely a few weeks ago was considered unreachable: "new polls suggest … [an erosion of] some of Obama's support, while McCain has begun to solidify a once-wary Republican base behind his candidacy."

Just what singularity was it that caused this unexpected erosion? You got it. A Los Angeles Times/Bloomberg poll "showed that 35 percent of voters said they had concerns about Obama’s patriotism. Only nine percent said they were worried about McCain’s."

Another survey, "conducted by Greenberg Quinlan Rosner, found that 74 percent of respondents saw McCain as patriotic, compared to just 56 percent who said the same of Obama." (My favorite finding in this last poll: "a word of caution to both presidential candidates: 76 percent of those surveyed said politicians often 'invoke patriotism in a cheap and empty way.'" Someone forgot to add, "and highly effective.")

At any rate, throughout this week, at least, Barack Obama has been pounding McCain on the original economic narrative -- you remember, the one that was to be electorally determinative -- but to little notice or effect. It seems that toy had already been tarnished by age -- that it's not nearly as seductive as the flashy baubles, bangles and rhetorical beads of ripping into a newcomer's patriotic essence.

But wait. Whammo! McCain, in a senior moment of grotesque ignorance born of elitist detachment, almost unbelievably allows that he knows not his number of homes. Now, it may be that his forgetfulness is of more legitimate worry than his otherworldly opulence, but that's not the point. The point is, we suddenly have before us a new bauble to toy with.

And, presto! Obama will soon be back on top. The pundits will pronounce a new narrative -- the game has changed, the worm has turned, in a few thoughtless words McCain undid all he had done, Obama's old/new message is now the common man's most common denominator.

No doubt, that's precisely what daily tracking polls will soon show. Care to bet?

Then, next week, there's the simple physical fact of a few thousand devout Democrats gathering at the Democratic National Convention. Ah, those Democrats love us, and we love them. Obama's numbers will soar even more.

Afterward, devout Republicans will convene. It will be clear they love us, and we'll love them. Obama's numbers will promptly dip.

And, unquestionably, at some point in all this mix, Obama, too, will say something of off-the-cuff stupidity, launching yet another game-changer and worm-turner. And so it will go, from now through early November -- up and down, gotchas galore, moments of meaningless but monumental eruptions, and all the while the neglected fundamentals will not have changed one iota.

This, "my friends," is democracy -- a bouncing ball of irrelevancies, a yo-yoing electorate of infantile fascinations. Every four years we pronounce with grave solemnity that this election, this time, by God, will be held "on the issues" -- grievous matters of jobs, health care, budgets, education, the environment, fiscal and foreign policy -- and every four years the major candidates are reduced to rolling brightly colored balls of distraction across the playroom floor.

Why? Because grievous matters don't appeal to children, and, even if some pols don't know how many homes they own, they at least know that much.