Michele Bachmann Offers Nancy Pelosi a House Call, Plus What Appears to Be a Free HR 3962 Enema

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BUZZFLASH NEWS ANALYSIS
by Meg White

Now that she knows the Capitol so well, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) has decided she's going to use her spare time on the Hill to give tours. Along with a press conference this coming Thursday, she's inviting all of Sean Hannity's minions viewers to join her in a fun-filled field trip where she'll help them find their representatives (and more importantly, "the whites of their eyes") and talk to them about healthcare reform.

"We can walk together through Cannon, Longworth, Rayburn, walk through the capitol, sit in the gallery," Bachmann promised under a banner scrolling "Universal Nightmare" last Friday on Hannity's America. "I'm asking people to come to Washington D.C. by the carload, and next Thursday at noon I'll be at a press conference on the steps of the Capitol. I'd love to have every one of your viewers join me so we can go up and down through the halls, find members of Congress, look at the whites of their eyes and say, 'Don't take away my healthcare!'"

Awesome, I love guided tours! I'm not sure what this all has to do with healthcare, though. Maybe these friendly constituents are offering free glaucoma exams to their hard-working representatives?

Hmm. Maybe Bachmann is just trying to find a good way to spend all that extra time she has since she clearly isn't planning on reading the healthcare bill before she votes against it? Because there's most assuredly not enough time to do that (except there is, but whatever).

Well, see for yourself (the D.C. invite comes in at about the five-minute mark of this nine-minute interview, and the emphasis is mine):

"This doesn't have to pass and I don't think it will pass if we can get people to literally, physically come to Washington, D.C. next week, anytime next week but specifically Thursday at noon we need to pay a house call on Nancy Pelosi and tell her what she can do with the Pelosi healthcare plan," Bachmann told Hannity. "This is our liberty and tyranny moment. This is it. This is about patriotism, and manning up. And if we can get Americans literally by the busload, to come to Washington D.C. next week, look their member of Congress in the eye, pay a house call on Congress and say, 'Don't you dare take away my healthcare, cradle to grave,' we'll stop this."

Oh, really, Michele? What can Nancy do with that bill?  Where could she possibly stick it?

What is clear is that Bachmann really thinks there are plenty of folks who have the time to drop everything and become her own personal lobbyists for the week. It was only last Friday when she sent out her invites via a series of interviews. Less than a week later, Bachmann is probably expecting, literally, a few people to show up.

Aw, I kid. Heck, even local radio personality Sue Jeffers personally copied and pasted the invitation onto her really, really popular blog. And the whole thing will only cost you $200! Though, it is unclear as to whether you will be sleeping out on the street. And it seems that the announcement of Jon Voight's appearance as reported by the Minneapolis City Pages may have been premature. But, hey, this is (and/or was) a recession, people. Astroturf is expensive.

Oh, and by "a series of interviews," I mean one on Hannity's show and another with the Washington News Observer, inexplicably available via this Canadian news Web site. In fact, the interview with the Washington News Observer is almost better because of how flustered she gets when she relays the tragedy of when "the Democrats in the House actually locked doors the changed locks on doors so Republicans couldn't even get into committee meetings," equating an event that had nothing to do with healthcare with the reform bill.

The closest thing to truthiness that Bachmann says in that interview is clearly a mistake (or maybe she loses all sense of grammar when she tells the truth?) when she says, I kid you not: "There's almost anybody in United States who won't be hurt by this." To be fair, Bachmann spews a whole bunch of lies in both videos about the healthcare reform legislation, some of which are debunked here by the FOX watchers at News Hounds.

The GOP has climbed on board, styling Bachmann's call as part tea party, part "Nancy" exam. I guess Bachmann must have gone to that same online medical school her husband did, because she's offering Nancy a "House call." How nice! You don't get that kind of personal service in the medical industry anymore, no sir! Yes, dearest Nancy must be so pleased she doesn't have to leave the House for her wellness check-up.

Wait. An involuntary house call? A wellness check? Is Michele Bachmann herself a death panel? Oh noes! Somebody must warn Nancy that she's about to be used to demonstrate the evils of socialized medicine at the very possible cost of her life!

Come on people, we need to get to Washington and save Nancy and the rest of Congress from the Bachmann/Hannity death panel. Who's coming with me?

I mean, I appreciate Bachmann trying to make a point, and you know you need a big angry mob to even do that these days. But telling Nancy that she must -- because her socialist government says so -- have a HR 3962 enema? That's just sick.

Then again, it's just as sick as telling vulnerable people that the government is part of a worldwide conspiracy to undermine our economy, or telling them they should slit their wrists and break the law, or calling selfless American volunteers socialist brownshirts, or suggesting that the media should conduct a McCarthy-esque investigation into the American-ness of elected representatives, or basically just about anything else Michele Bachmann has done in the past year or three.

Plus, practically making out W. I mean, that was sick.

But not quite as sick as our crazy healthcare system. And that's the point, I suppose.

BUZZFLASH NEWS ANALYSIS

UPDATE: Bachmann confirmed on FOX News today that yes, Jon Voight ("the actor") will be there, calling the event the "Superbowl of freedom." Watch it: