Soldiers Fighting the War on Christmas Hypocritically Use Capitalism as a Weapon Against the Godless Liberals at The Gap

BUZZFLASH NEWS ANALYSIS
by Meg White

As the seasonal retail admonishment goes, Christmas comes earlier every year. And that means the religious right has already launched their annual war against the war on Christmas. But this year, the ultra-conservative American Family Association is taking the crusade to new levels of shameless self-promotion.

With consumer spending expectations especially low for this holiday season, retailers are even more sensitive to customer proclivities. Some are trying to be more inclusive in their marketing and others are instructing their employees to greet customers with "Happy Holidays!" rather than specifying a religious event for people to be merry about.

Still other companies seem fearful of losing the militant Christian dollar. Sears created a "Christmas Club" card that rewards customers for saving up Christmas spending money destined for their stores. The American Family Association (AFA) insists the card is the direct result of pressure from their organization pushing retailers to openly use the word "Christmas."

Dismayed that the folks at The Gap and others will continue to eschew the word "Christ" in their holiday advertising, the AFA has come up with a new tactic to combat this terrible scourge on Jesus' birthday, which they're calling "Project Merry Christmas."

While it appears the campaign has been going since September, the AFA sent out an action alert last Saturday to let good Christians know about what they can do to fight the long-running war on Christmas:

Christians can take a stand and proclaim to our communities that Christmas is not just a winter holiday focused on materialism, but a "holy day" when we celebrate the birth of our Savior.

So how do they suggest combating the materialism of modern Christmas? By buying more crap, of course:

Here's how you can take a stand for Christmas. AFA is making available an attractive button and sticker that carry this thought-provoking, Gospel-focused message: "God's Gift: Merry Christmas."

Purchase enough buttons for each member of your church and enough glossy stickers for each family to have one to go on their automobiles. Urge your fellow members to wear their buttons and display the glossy stickers during the entire Christmas season.

They even suggest getting children into the act of marrying Jesus' birth to conservative capitalism, suggesting that "if you are unable to sponsor your church yourself, ask your Sunday School class to make it a class project." Yeah, that ought to teach kids the true value of Jesus.

The buttons are not offered at a huge discount, however, ranging from 52 cents to 90 cents a button, depending upon how many you buy. The stickers are even more expensive, ranging from $1.00 to $1.50 each. Moreover, while shipping is free, it also takes some three to four weeks to arrive. I very much doubt they are losing money on this deal.

And don't you worry; once the post-ascension blues sets in and the tannenbaum becomes a fire hazard, your vehicle can go back to normal, because the stickers are "easy to remove." So much for keeping Christmas in your heart all year round!

By the way, what was that story again, about Jesus and the moneychangers in the Temple?

I'd like to believe that Project Merry Christmas is not an effort to marginalize Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or Ashura or Bodhi Day or Al-Hijira or any other holiday that has the misfortune of landing anywhere near the time Christians chose to celebrate the birth of their Jesus.

Thankfully, it's not about that. In fact, it's not about Jesus at all; it's all about the AFA.

Notice how the buttons don't say anything about forcing stores to cater to Christians, or restoring the Christian hegemony in America? It doesn't even say "Say Merry Christmas" or "Spread the Word" or "Only the Devil Says 'Happy Holidays'" or anything.

Now look a little closer. See that Web site printed there? Yep, it'll direct you to the AFA's home page, where you can learn about and donate to their Christian fundamentalist projects, ranging from boycotting companies who dare to market their products to gay people to promoting ads about President Obama being aborted as a baby. In fact, you can even donate more to the AFA in the process of purchasing your Christmas buttons!

Rather than Christ being God's gift to the world, it seems the AFA thinks the war on Christmas is God's gift to the AFA.

It's clear that this is just the latest attempt by the AFA to gain converts to its extremist version of social conservatism. But you know you'll hear all about the war on Christmas from other sources that are better at disguising their own stake in the issue. When you do, keep in mind the true history of the so-called war on Christmas, which I wrote about last year around this time:

The origins of Christmas go back to pagan solstice celebrations. When Christianity became the official religion of the Roman Empire, Christ's birthday was moved to December as a way to co-opt the numerous different religious ceremonies that occurred around the winter solstice.

Christians themselves acknowledge that the well-known symbols of the holiday, including Santa Claus, Christmas trees, and even the mother-and-child imagery come from various other religions. Traditions from gift-giving and feasting to mistletoe and Yule logs were appropriated by early Christians. And these practices come from such varied religious traditions -- everything from Norse to Egyptian to Druidic legends -- that it's only appropriate to say "Happy Holidays."

Not only did early Christians appropriate the traditions and imagery of these disparate local religions, but also in many cases they outlawed, sometimes at penalty of death, the expression of non-Christian beliefs. When you consider such ghosts of Christmas past, the whining about the "war on Christmas" takes on a particularly grating tone. When their religious hegemony is attacked, Christians go on an immediate offense, but they conveniently forget all the religious practices they mercilessly stamped out on their way to cementing Christmas as their own.

So next time you hear a Christian bemoaning the de-Jesusification of December, remind them of how they've been ruining the 12th month of the year for centuries. Happy Holidays people, and don't forget to tip your moneychanger.

BUZZFLASH NEWS ANALYSIS

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